What lies beyond the veil of consciousness. Is it nothingness or eternity? Is there someone or something hiding just around the corner laughing at us? Or is that the deafening silence of a lonely existence.
Where will we be at the end of the road? When the sidewalk ends, and the frogs and the toads all take our tickets and push us down the slide, hoping we might just miss the chance to hide.
Has it been an eternity already? Is there an alarm clock going off that the creator is sleeping through not knowing everything he is missing?
I shout to the heavens to give me a sign, and the next thing I know a hurricane destroys my town with a vengeance only known by a deity challenged, wielding the wind full of signs uprooted from where they found meaning.
Where then should I sell my soul? What crossroads is the one with the devil waiting for me? I want happiness, I want an existence that makes sense and one where I don’t question the nature of existence.
Like an insect stuck in a web, we flail for meaning and purpose and that movement only draws our captor closer. If we stopped moving, enjoyed the view, and talked to the spider we might find a peace and joy in the inevitable.
Actions much like keys can be played in unison to create something better than the sum of it’s parts. When we as a society can cleverly compose symphonies that result in a better tomorrow, solve the worlds problems and leave us dancing in the process, I think we have created our own meaning.
Language is a human invention, so meaning is a human invention. Purpose is a cult of despair created to sell you a cheat code to happiness. What you find when you enter a cheat code is the enjoyment of the entire game has been lost, even slightly. You have impacted your enjoyment by not becoming better but by making the process easier.
Life is not easy, there is no purpose, and the popular paths have all been sold as the mandatory ones. I wake up every day realizing I haven’t followed the path sold to me since the day my eyes opened for the first time. I wake up sad to the fact that the ideas I have held about my life and where I thought I would be by this age is not how it is playing out. Then I come around to the fact that I have had the most active part in the process to bring me here, and that I wouldn’t really change my life path as it is one I have enjoyed even when it was not enjoyable.
There are moments you realize is just a life moment everyone gets, and this is yours. Mediation is the ability to unbuckle your mind from “reacting” to its surrounding. To be able to view an impactful moment in your life and smile at whatever energy has done this is certainly watching my reaction with great interest.
To look at an uncomfortable moment as part of a story and you are just actively choosing what the hero would do in that moment. How often are peoples egos defined by the story of their life, the movie everyone will watch, the book that someone will write about me one day. Yet in every decision, they think about themselves and what they will get out of it.
I’ve always had more of a fascination for the heroes with a death wish, or maybe not a death wish but a complete lack of care for consequences. A character staring into the face of death and smirking a grin that says “this is gonna be fun”. In those moments, I don’t even want to attribute it to ego and a “I 100% win this” but a “no matter what, I go down swinging”
Life is a joke, and either you can be upset or laugh along.
